Regularly a new technique pops up, often created by anonymous users and promising fast results.

Some of these methods sound reasonable. Others… a bit more questionable.

Today, we’re looking at one that has been circulating lately: the SpongeBob technique.

As a science-based male sexuality coach, I’m going to break it down for you: what it is, why people are trying it, whether it actually works, and whether it’s something you should be doing at all.

What Is the “SpongeBob Technique”?

The concept is to brush the most sensitive part of the penis with a sponge and soapy water for a couple of minutes, every day for 30 days.

This technique is meant to reduce sensitivity in the head of the penis, in order to feel less pleasure and therefore be able to last longer in bed.

Some men who attempted it report noticeable changes within days, while others describe discomfort, irritation, or even skin damage.

Why Some Men Try It

The appeal is obvious:

• It feels practical and physical

• It offers a clear, actionable routine

• It promises fast results

• It doesn’t require deep emotional or psychological work

For men who’ve already tried multiple ways to fix their PE without success, a method like this can feel worth a try.

Serious Risks

First, let me point out the most serious and obvious risks of the Spongebob technique.

Skin irritation and friction burns

The penile skin (especially the glans) is thin and sensitive. Repeated dry friction can cause:

• Redness and inflammation

• Burning sensations

• Micro-tears in the skin

• Peeling or flaking

This is basically the same mechanism as a friction burn.

Increased risk of infections

When you create micro-tears in the skin, you’re weakening the natural barrier that protects against microbes.

This increases the risk of:

• Fungal infections

• Bacterial infections

• General inflammation of the glans

Symptoms can include:

• Itching

• Unusual discharge

• Pain or swelling

This is made even more likely by the fact that the technique uses soap, which can disrupt the skin’s natural microbiome and weaken its defenses, making irritation and infection far more likely.

Most importantly, a sponge is one of the worst objects you could use for this purpose. Its porous structure, full of tiny cavities, combined with its capacity to retain moisture and organic residue (skin cells, soap, bodily fluids) makes it a breeding ground for bacteria, fungi, and yeast.

Nerve irritation

Repeated overstimulation can lead to:

• Temporary numbness

• Tingling or hypersensitivity

• Discomfort during touch

Chronic inflammation and tissue changes

If the irritation is repeated over time, it may cause:

• Thickening of the skin

• Persistent redness or dryness

• Reduced elasticity

This can lead to a noticeable loss of pleasure, not just delayed ejaculation.

Some may think these risks remain relatively low if the technique is done very carefully but I would say: why take that risk in the first place, especially when safer, more effective approaches exist?

For those who still consider trying it, I strongly recommend speaking with a qualified healthcare professional beforehand.

The Core Problem: It Targets the Wrong Mechanism

Apart from the health risks, an important issue with the SpongeBob technique is that it’s based on a flawed understanding of premature ejaculation.

It assumes that the problem is primarily too much sensitivity. When in reality, control is influenced by a combination of factors:

• Arousal regulation

• Nervous system conditioning

• Breathing patterns

• Pelvic floor response

• Mental focus and anticipation

Sensitivity is just one piece of a much larger system.

Reducing it artificially may delay the outcome but it doesn’t teach your body how to control it.

This is why I think this type of approach is flawed even when it is done in a safer way, such as in this taoist technique from Mantak Chia, which has the same concept without the sponge.

A More Effective Approach

For those seeking a solution based on physical practice, instead of trying to desensitize yourself, the better strategy is to practice safe and effective techniques grounded in science that allow you to:

• Release chronic tension in the pelvic floor and learn how to maintain a relaxed state

• Develop conscious control over the ejaculatory reflex

• Regulate the nervous system so arousal builds in a stable, manageable way

• Reduce performance anxiety and shift into a confident mindset

If this approach resonates with you, I have already written an article that breaks down this type of techniques:

Final Thoughts

I do not recommend the SpongeBob technique.

While some may report positive results, the potential risks are not worth it. At the very least, it exposes the body to unnecessary irritation and disruption of normal sensitivity.

More importantly, it is not an optimal approach to treating premature ejaculation. At best it works by forcing the body to adapt through discomfort, but it does not develop real control over arousal or the ejaculatory reflex.

There are far safer and more effective methods that focus on training the nervous system, relaxing the pelvic floor, and building conscious control over arousal.

Disclaimer: In some cases, PE can have a medical cause. For this reason, it may be a good idea for men affected by PE to consult a doctor.

If you have any questions, I’d be happy to answer them. You can reach me in DM or at neontantra.com/contact.

Note: This article is for educational purposes only and should not be taken as medical advice. If you experience sexual dysfunction or pain, consult a qualified healthcare professional.

Interested in learning ejaculation control and NEMO?

I want to learn

When I launched Neon Tantra, my goal was simple: strip away the esoteric fog and give you a scientific, results-driven framework for ejaculatory control and male multiple orgasms.

And the method works.

But the session format is not for everyone. Some men have a hard time fitting a one-hour call (often going longer) into their schedule. Others live in a timezone that is tricky to make work with mine. And some are simply uncomfortable with video calls.

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What Is Direct Access?

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Think of it as having a male sexuality coach in your pocket.

This Is For You If:

• You feel uncomfortable on video calls.

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What You Can Ask Me About:

• Science-backed ways to cure premature ejaculation and gain full ejaculatory control

• How to develop Non-Ejaculatory Multiple Orgasms (NEMO)

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Introduction

This is a personal document. It’s not a guide, not a manifesto, and certainly not something I’d put my name to publicly. But over the years I’ve developed a relationship with my own body and its sexual responses that feels worth writing down — partly for my own record, and partly because if someone else stumbles across this and recognises something of their own experience, it might save them years of wondering whether what they’re feeling is normal.

I’m a man in my sixties. What I’m about to describe didn’t happen overnight. It’s been a gradual process of paying attention, practising, and learning to trust what my body tells me rather than what I’d been told sex is supposed to be.

Separating Orgasm from Ejaculation

The foundation of everything I’ve experienced rests on a simple fact that most men never discover: orgasm and ejaculation are two separate events. They usually happen together, so closely synchronised that they feel like one thing. But they’re controlled by different nerve pathways, and with practice, they can be uncoupled.

When I have a non-ejaculatory orgasm, my body goes through all the pleasurable neurological responses — the muscle contractions, the dopamine release, the heightened sensation — without triggering the ejaculatory reflex. This means there’s no refractory period. I can have multiple orgasms over many hours, staying in a sustained state of arousal and pleasure.

During these sessions, I feel a tingling in my testicles — a fullness that comes from seminal fluid being produced and retained. Rather than being uncomfortable, this fullness becomes part of the pleasure itself. There’s also a sensation I can best describe as bubbles rising up through my body — waves of energy moving upward from the pelvis through the torso. It’s not metaphorical. It’s a distinct physical feeling, like effervescence moving through me.

What the science says

This isn’t fringe territory. A study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior (Dunn & Trost, 1989) documented interviews with 21 multiply orgasmic men who confirmed that detumescence doesn’t always follow orgasm, that non-ejaculatory orgasms can occur both before and after ejaculatory ones, and that series of orgasms are possible. Some men had always been this way; others learned it later in life.

More recently, a 2025 study in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy documented twelve multiply orgasmic men, with some reporting three to ten orgasms per session and others reporting uncountable orgasms. Seven of the twelve described pleasurable sensations radiating beyond their genitals — which matches my experience of the rising, full-body sensation exactly.

Research also confirms that orgasm and ejaculation are neurologically distinct. Ejaculation is controlled by a specific population of neurons in the lumbar spinal cord (the spinal ejaculatory generator), while orgasm involves broader brain activation including reward centres, the prefrontal cortex, and the autonomic nervous system. They typically fire together, but they don’t have to.

The Prostate, Coffee, and Amplification

Two things I’ve noticed that contribute to the experience: coffee and prostate awareness.

Coffee, as a stimulant, increases blood flow and heightens nervous system sensitivity. During a session, I find it amplifies the subtle sensations I’m tuning into. It’s not essential, but it raises the volume on what’s already happening in my body.

The prostate is more significant. During prolonged arousal without ejaculation, I can feel a deep, groaning vibration coming from my prostate — gentle contractions or pulsing that are deeply pleasurable. This makes anatomical sense: the prostate is rich in nerve endings, contracts during orgasm, and fills with fluid during arousal. It’s essentially staying engaged and active throughout, contributing to that sustained state of heightened readiness across the whole reproductive system.

The Prefrontal Cortex and Top-Down Arousal

One of my more unusual discoveries: if I focus my attention on my prefrontal cortex — the area behind the forehead — it noticeably heightens my sexual drive. This isn’t visualisation or fantasy. It’s a deliberate directing of conscious attention to a specific area of the brain, and the body responds.

This turns out to have solid neurological grounding. The prefrontal cortex is directly connected to the dopaminergic pathways that drive sexual desire and reward. A 2007 review by Spinella, published in the International Journal of Neuroscience, specifically examined the role of prefrontal-subcortical systems in sexual behaviour, integrating findings from neuroimaging, clinical studies, and animal research.

Neuroimaging studies have shown that sexual arousal activates the right inferolateral prefrontal cortex, and that during arousal the prefrontal cortex integrates memory, imagination, and sensory anticipation, activating reward circuit pathways including the nucleus accumbens.

What’s particularly interesting is that during high sexual arousal from genital stimulation, activity in the ventromedial prefrontal cortex steadily decreases. The PFC actively modulates its own activity during arousal. By consciously engaging it, I may be initiating a top-down activation of the arousal and reward circuits — essentially using focused attention to prime the body’s sexual response from the brain downward, rather than waiting for external stimulation to work its way up.

Most people’s sexual arousal is bottom-up: something external stimulates them and the body sends signals to the brain. What I’ve learned to do is the reverse — using top-down conscious focus to initiate and amplify arousal in the body. This is essentially what advanced meditators and tantric practitioners describe, just in different language.

Responding to Energy, Not Performance

I occasionally watch porn, but my relationship with it is quite specific. I rarely get an erection from watching it unless I can feel authentic sexual energy from the participants. If the content feels performative — choreographed for visual impact rather than reflecting genuine arousal — it does nothing for me. It’s actually a turn-off.

When I do respond, it’s because I can sense that the people on screen are genuinely aroused and sexually connected. The real cues are in breathing patterns, muscle tension, and the way people move when they’re actually lost in pleasure rather than performing. My nervous system responds to that authenticity because it mirrors something genuine.

This extends to what I find attractive. I’ve discovered that femboys are a significant turn-on for me. They often present a blend of masculine and feminine energy that feels uninhibited and free from the more scripted dynamics of mainstream porn. There’s a rawness and authenticity to it — people who are genuinely enjoying their sexuality and their bodies. Their sexuality is intertwined with their identity and self-expression in a way that radiates genuine arousal.

Recognising this has been liberating. Rather than getting caught up in questions about labels — am I straight, am I bi — I’ve come to understand that I’m responding to a felt sense. I’m attracted to authentic sexual energy, beauty, and embodied pleasure regardless of the form it takes. That’s not a contradiction that needs resolving with a label. It just is what it is.

Connection with Partners

The most profound experiences I’ve had have been with partners, and they’ve confirmed everything my solo practice has taught me.

Resonance without movement

With one partner, I experienced something remarkable. My penis was inside her, completely still — no movement at all — and she said it felt familiar, as though her body recognised something. She quickly had an orgasm and squirted, purely from the connection of our bodies being together. Without movement, what was happening was entirely about the subtle: warmth, the pulse of blood flow, micro-contractions, the energetic exchange between us. My penis has its own subtle pulsing from blood flow and arousal, and her vagina has its own rhythmic contractions. When two people are deeply attuned, those rhythms can synchronise in a way that becomes intensely pleasurable for both.

Energy that envelops

Another partner was very energetically apparent. When we hugged, her energy enveloped me and she felt mine do the same. It was like two magnetic fields meeting. We often melted into each other — blissfully beautiful. This is very rare, though. It requires both people to be open and sensitive enough to feel it. You can be the most attuned person in the world, but if the other person is closed off or in their head, that mutual enveloping can’t happen.

The sex with this person was extraordinary. I was constantly rock hard — not from effort or mental work, but because the connection itself sustained it effortlessly. I loved her riding me. In that position, she was in control of the rhythm and depth, which meant both of us could just be present and feel rather than thinking about what to do next. It allowed for maximum surrender to the experience.

Often we’d go straight to sleep afterward. The combined effect of our energy was both intensely arousing and deeply relaxing at the same time. When the nervous system has been that fully engaged and then reaches resolution, the drop into deep rest is total. No restlessness, no residual tension — just done, in the most satisfying way.

We both learnt from the connection and eventually moved on. Not every profound connection is meant to last forever. But the sensitivity, the awareness, the knowledge of what that level of depth feels like — that stays with you and informs everything that comes after.

A note on female ejaculation

With one partner who was completely sexually open, I noticed her ejaculatory fluid varied. Sometimes it was whitish and sticky-sweet, other times more like water. These likely come from different sources. The more watery fluid is typically associated with squirting and originates primarily from the Skene’s glands and bladder area, released in larger volumes during intense arousal. The thicker, whitish fluid is more likely true female ejaculate from the Skene’s glands (sometimes called the female prostate), produced in smaller amounts with a different composition. The variation depends on hydration, menstrual cycle, type and depth of arousal, and the nature of the stimulation.

Her being completely open was the key. Female ejaculation requires a level of letting go and surrender that many women find difficult because of anxiety or self-consciousness. That she was so uninhibited reflected the trust and energetic safety of our connection. Her body felt safe enough to fully release.

Recovery and Maintenance

At my age — in my sixties — I recover quite quickly. After ejaculating, I’m ready again within a day or so, which is good for any age and particularly so for mine. I attribute this to several things.

The regular non-ejaculatory orgasms keep my whole sexual system active: blood flow to the pelvic area, prostate health, hormonal signalling, nerve sensitivity. It’s all being maintained through consistent use. Sexual function, like any physical capacity, responds to the principle of use it or lose it.

Not ejaculating every time also helps. I get all the benefits of regular sexual arousal and orgasm — the hormonal release, the pelvic floor engagement, the cardiovascular activity — without depleting myself each time. When I do ejaculate, my body bounces back faster because it hasn’t been in a constant cycle of depletion and recovery.

I also take supplements to support this, and I stay well hydrated during sessions. Prolonged arousal is physically demanding, and the body needs support.

Practical Notes for Anyone Interested

None of this happened quickly. It takes practice, patience, and a willingness to pay attention to what your body is actually doing rather than chasing a finish line. Here are some things I’d offer to anyone curious:

Learn to feel, not perform

The single most important shift is moving from goal-oriented sex (chasing the orgasm) to sensation-oriented awareness (feeling what’s happening right now). This applies to solo practice and partnered sex alike. If you’re focused on coming, you’ll come. If you’re focused on feeling, entire worlds open up.

Develop body awareness

Pay attention to the subtleties: the tingling, the fullness, the warmth, the pulsing. These aren’t background noise — they’re the main event. Most men are so focused on the destination that they miss the extraordinary richness of what the body is doing along the way.

Explore the prefrontal focus

Try directing your conscious attention to the area behind your forehead during arousal. Don’t force anything — just bring your awareness there gently and notice what happens. For me, this became a way of amplifying and directing sexual energy from the brain downward. It may not work for everyone in the same way, but it’s worth experimenting with.

Stay hydrated

If you’re going to sustain arousal over hours, drink water. Your body is working hard.

Let go of labels

If you find yourself responding to things you didn’t expect — different kinds of bodies, different kinds of energy — don’t rush to categorise it. Follow the felt sense. Your body knows what it responds to, and it’s often more nuanced and fluid than any label can capture.

Be patient with partners

The kind of energetic connection I’ve described with partners is rare. It requires both people to be open, present, and sensitive. You can’t manufacture it, and not every partner will be able to meet you there. That’s fine. The practice is primarily about your relationship with your own body. Everything else flows from that.

Practice is everything

This is a skill. Like any skill, it develops through repetition and attention. I didn’t wake up one day with the ability to have hours of non-ejaculatory orgasms. It built gradually over time. Trust the process.

A Final Thought

I’m writing this as a man in his sixties who has spent years learning to listen to his body. What I’ve found is that male sexuality is far richer, more varied, and more capable than most men ever realise. The standard script — get aroused, ejaculate, fall asleep — is only one tiny corner of what’s possible.

The research is catching up. Neuroscience is beginning to map the pathways that connect conscious attention, prefrontal activation, dopaminergic reward systems, and sexual response. But the body has always known these things. You just have to be willing to listen.

I hope this story will inspire some of you to explore this path for yourselves. If it resonates with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts—feel free to share them in the comments.

Leave a comment

First of all, a kegel is an exercise of the pelvic floor that involves performing series of contractions of the pelvic floor muscles in order to strengthen them. It is meant for both men and women and brings many health benefits.

You might wonder why this person wanted to practice kegels. One of the main benefits of pelvic floor control is the ability for men to last longer in bed.

Instead of gaining better control, he only reduced his ejaculatory control. Far from being surprising, it’s actually pretty common.

If kegels are not done properly—as it frequently happens—they result in overtightening the pelvic floor, which is the main cause of premature ejaculation.

There are three common issues:

1. One of the common mistakes men make when practicing kegels is focusing too much on the contracting part of the exercise, and not enough on the relaxing part.
   It’s very important to fully relax the pelvic floor muscles before moving to the next contraction. Whenever practicing kegels you have to spend just as much time relaxing your pelvic floor as contracting it.

2. Kegels are not enough. Ideally you should learn to control these muscles in more complex ways than just contracting them.
   This includes learning to actively lengthen and relax them, which is where techniques like reverse kegels come in.
   This is why in addition to kegels I also teach reverse kegels, and other exercises that target specific muscles one at a time.

3. There is such a thing as too many kegels. Depending on the program you follow, you can gain sufficient pelvic floor strength in a few weeks or a few months.
   Once your pelvic floor has enough strength, you should only do kegels from time to time, to maintain the muscles. Unfortunately many men keep doing kegels for way too long and overtrain their pelvic floor.

Thankfully this person figured out what was wrong and managed to correct it.

He hit the nail on the head by saying it’s not just about strength, but also about control.

Keeping the pelvic floor relaxed is the biggest key to ejaculation control. There are many techniques required for ejaculation control, but relaxation is the most important of all.

In my program I teach a wide range of techniques, but in theory you can gain total control of your ejaculatory reflex only by training relaxation in the pelvic floor and the whole body.

Although note that relaxation alone isn't always enough for everyone. The other techniques are what reinforce your chances of success and help you get there much faster.

So remember:

• Kegels are just as much an exercise of relaxation as contraction.

• Overdoing kegels is counterproductive and may lead to issues.

• Don’t limit your training to just kegels.

And as always, if you have any concerns, it’s a good idea to consult your GP before starting any new exercise routine.

For anyone interested, I teach the science of ejaculation control to men in one-on-one video calls. The teaching includes a complete set of solutions to fix PE: pelvic floor muscle training, body exercises, breath exercises, stretching of muscles involved in PE, and other behavioral techniques.

This program enables you to rewire the body to gain full control over the ejaculatory reflex, in a way that is safer and more effective than the random information found online.

And the best part is that the same techniques that are used to eliminate PE can also be used to learn non-ejaculatory multiple orgasms (NEMO). This means that not only can you learn to last longer—or even as long as you want—you can also learn to orgasm many times in a single session without losing arousal.

Interested? Visit neontantra.com to book a free call or message me.

The thing that has always surprised me while reading these posts is that many of those men are looking for a solution to premature ejaculation (commonly referred to as PE) and are talking about it as if it were some Holy Grail that we could only hope to find one day.

But the thing is, in a way the cure for premature ejaculation has already been found. In this article I will review this effective treatment and the scientific studies that support it.

Keep in mind a few caveats though.

1. It doesn’t work for 100% of men, although it is effective for the majority.

2. It’s not a single magic bullet, but a set of solutions.

3. The studies on the subject are still rather limited.

Now let’s dive in!

What Does the Science Say?

There are many treatments to PE but here I will only focus on the behavorial techniques, because contrary to the other ones they don’t require expensive spending and don’t come with negative side effects.

The behavioral approach include things like pelvic floor muscle training, relaxation techniques, mindfulness techniques, or meditation.

An integrative review of 15 scientific studies (De Paula et al., 2024) concludes that “the current literature supports the efficacy of pelvic floor muscle training and physiotherapy as effective non-pharmacological treatments for premature ejaculation.“

The authors do acknowledge that “the quality of the studies reviewed varies significantly, with some studies having small sample sizes and a significant exposition to biases“, but I do have confidence in the efficacy of these methods based on the countless testimonies of men I have heard or read over the years, attesting they permanently cured their premature ejaculation with this approach.

Testimonies From Men Who Have Cured Their Premature Ejaculation

Let’s look at a few excerpts from some of these success testimonies that can be found online.

Testimony 1

Testimony 2

Testimony 3

Testimony 4

There are many more testimonies like these. As you can see, the thing they have in common is behavioral techniques, and in particular training the nervous system to regulate and training the pelvic floor and surrounding areas to relax.

That is the real key: gain control of the pelvic floor and the body as a whole to remove physical tension and anxiety. Men who do this kind of training—assuming it’s done the right way—can fix their premature ejaculation in a matter of months or weeks. This even works for some men who have suffered from lifelong PE and who didn’t find success in other kinds of treatments.

Now, a word of warning.

First, don’t take everything that is said in these stories as gospel. Every man is different and the exact routine that worked for one may not work for another. The point in looking at these stories isn’t to show a specific manual for treating PE, the point is to demonstrate the general patterns that lead to success.

Those men did it on their own, gathering information in a haphazard way. Because of that, their methods were incomplete and far from perfect.

Second, it’s very common to practice kegels, reverse kegels and similar exercises incorrectly and it can lead to several issues including overtightening the pelvic floor—which worsen PE. This is why some men find that pelvic floor exercises don’t work for them or even make it worse.

Lastly, beware of the information you may find online. Some of it is wrong and can even be dangerous. A good first step toward treating PE is to consult your general practitioner.

With these caveats in mind, I encourage any man suffering from PE to learn about all the behavioral techniques that exist. Just make sure you learn it from a trustworthy source, either a medical professional or a science-based educator.

Leave a comment

For anyone interested, I teach the science of ejaculation control to men in one-on-one video calls. The teaching includes a complete set of solutions to fix PE: pelvic floor muscle training, body exercises, breath exercises, stretching of muscles involved in PE, and other behavioral techniques.

This system enables you to rewire the body to gain full control over the ejaculatory reflex, in a way that is safer and more effective than the random information found online.

And the best part is that the same techniques that are used to eliminate PE can also be used to learn non-ejaculatory multiple orgasms (NEMO). This means that not only can you learn to last longer—or even as long as you want—you can also learn to orgasm many times in a single session without losing arousal.

If you want to learn more, visit neontantra.com or message me.

There seem to be several variations of this method, but they all basically share the same fundamentals. As far as I can tell, they originated from this forum post.

Quick reminder: premature ejaculation is the term used when a man has an ejaculatory orgasm within a few seconds or minutes of beginning sexual activity, despite his will to last longer.

What is the 66 Days Fap Training?

The 66 days method, described in detail here, consists in reprogramming the brain through a regular practice that involves masturbating in very specific ways. Some of the rules include: not watching porn, not ejaculating, breathing from the belly, relaxing the PC muscles.

You may wonder: why 66 days? According to this study (Lally et al., 2009), this is the average period necessary to develop a new habit. Although note that 66 days is an average. In the study, this number actually ranged from 18 to 254 days depending on the participants.

Does It Actually Work?

As someone who helps men learn to master ejaculation control, I can say that the 66 days method does a lot of things right. Actually, most of its recommendations are part of my own program. I have no doubt those practicing it seriously will see results.

I am, however, skeptical that the results will live up to their expectations. I expect that men who train with this method will see great improvements in a few weeks or months but hit a wall in their progress at a certain point.

As far as I know, the best way to treat PE is to follow the kind of method that I teach, what we might call the multi-orgasmic training.

You can learn more about this training here but in a nutshell, it refers to a method that teaches men how to control ejaculation and how to have multiple orgasms without any refractory period.

It contains ideas and techniques similar to the 66 days method, but also a lot more than that.

Now let’s review the downsides of the 66 days method and why—in my opinion—it’s too limited.

Slow Results

The author of the post mentions that it took him more than one year to beat PE, and yet he trained very regularly. This is a lot longer than what can be achieved with the multi-orgasmic training.

How much longer? I don’t like giving estimations because everyone is different. Each person has a different mind, a different body, comes from a different context, lives in a different environment, and all these factors influence the pace of their progress.

However, from my experience, I can say that most men suffering from PE have a good chance of treating it in a matter of months if they practice the multi-orgasmic training regularly.

No PC Muscles Contractions

The author advises against using any PC muscles contractions or practicing kegels. His idea is that you only need to relax the PC muscles and that contracting them will make PE worse.

There is some truth to that. If they are not practiced properly, kegels can create bad habits and increase tension in the PC muscles, which is a big no-no because tension in this area promotes ejaculation.

What is also true though is that PC muscles contractions can definitely be useful to control ejaculation. They just need to be practiced and used the right way, with subtlety and technique (I’m not referring to the strong PC clench method advocated by people like Mantak Chia). They are also one of the big components in achieving non-ejaculatory orgasms.

This is why contrary to most kegel trainings you might find in books or articles, the personal kegel routine I provide makes sure to balance contractions and relaxations. Every contraction is followed by an equal relaxation, with equal focus. I also include a reverse kegel exercise after each kegel exercise.

Reduced Pleasure

The author also mentions that his training resulted in a loss of pleasure during masturbation. This is not uncommon when one trains to fight PE. It comes from the repeated efforts to divert pleasure away from the penis and from frequent masturbation.

The multi-orgasmic training avoids this problem by expanding the nervous system’s ability to feel pleasure more intensely and in more areas of the body. At times, some men may have a decreased pleasure in the penis but it is offset by the fact that they can feel pleasure in their whole body and experience superior orgasms (non-ejaculatory multiple orgasms feel way better than traditional orgasms).

Verdict: Useful but Limited

I wrote this article for men who will stumble on the 66 days method—introduced to them as “the only way you’ll overcome and cure PE”, give it a try and end up being disappointed. To these men I say: this is not necessarily your fault, the method itself is too limited.

The good news is this is absolutely not the only way to treat PE. I’ve already mentioned the multi-orgasmic training, which I believe to be the best one, but there are also certain practices than can be useful (particulary if they are combined): yoga, meditation, relaxation, lajin, therapy, and more.

So do not lose hope, PE can be treated. It just requires finding what works for you and practicing it with a lot of discipline.

Disclaimer: In some cases, PE can have a medical cause. For this reason, it may be a good idea for men affected by PE to consult a doctor.

If you have any questions, I’d be happy to answer them. You can reach me in DM or at neontantra.com/contact.

Note: This article is for educational purposes only and should not be taken as medical advice. If you experience sexual dysfunction or pain, consult a qualified healthcare professional.

Interested in learning ejaculation control and NEMO?

I want to learn

For a long time, that made me feel ashamed. I felt inferior and wished I could do things as quickly as others. But now, in my late thirties, my perspective has completely changed. Over the years, I’ve become deeply interested in meditation, mindfulness, breathing exercises, and, of course, tantra—and in all of these practices, my natural slowness has turned out to be an advantage.

I’ve come to understand that the feeling of inadequacy I once had came from living in a capitalist society that puts the pursuit of profit front and center. Profit is maximized through productivity, and productivity is achieved through speed. That’s how our minds become colonized by the idea that we must always be fast and efficient.

In a capitalist world, being slow may be seen as a disadvantage. But for life itself—for well-being, presence, and happiness—it’s a gift.

The Virtues of Slowness

Slowness has many hidden virtues. It helps us fight stress and anxiety, invites mindfulness, and deepens our sense of pleasure and connection.

We strive to be faster and faster, but we should also learn to be slower. Slowness paves the way to extraordinary abilities.

It reduces stress and anxiety

When you slow down, your nervous system relaxes. You stop running after the next task or thought and begin to inhabit the present moment. The breath slows down, the body unwinds, and peace can emerge.

It sounds simple, and it may not be enough by itself, but it works.

It enhances mindfulness and perception

When you slow down, more things come to your attention. And the more you slow down, the more you perceive.

It’s like looking out the window of a moving car. At high speed, everything blurs past. But driving slowly, you can truly observe every detail of the landscape.

In a way, slowing down makes the world around you come into high definition.

It deepens pleasure and connection

Things that are slow are more intense.

Try this: have your partner run a finger across the palm of your hand. Now have them do it again, three times slower. Notice the difference?

Slowness does wonders for intimacy, both with others and with yourself. Moving slowly amplifies sensations and lets you feel energy flowing through your body in ways that rushing never could. It’s also one of the key ingredients to unlock energy orgasms.

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Cultivating Slowness

In an age where fast social media eats our attention span, cultivating slowness has become urgent. This can be done through meditation, yoga, tai chi, qi gong, or any practice that reconnects you with your body and breath—including orgasmic meditation.

When I want to meditate, do energy work or simply center myself, slowing down is the first thing I do. I slow down my mind, my breath, my entire body, even my perception of time—I stretch each second into longer, fuller moments. This opens a hidden layer of reality, one that is always present but invisible at higher pace.

The world becomes richer when you move through it slowly.

Slow Down, Be Present

Modern society constantly pushes us to go faster and faster—to do more, achieve more, consume more. But life isn’t a race.

There are treasures to be found in slowness: peace, awareness, pleasure.

Slowing down isn’t a weakness to fix—it’s a doorway to presence, if we dare walk through it.

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If you have any questions, I’d be happy to answer them. You can reach me in DM or at neontantra.com/contact.

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Beneath the layer of memes and jokes that usually surround this event lies a genuine struggle. Men don’t undertake this challenge just for laughs, they do it as a test of willpower. Many of them feel enslaved by compulsive habits, and NNN serves as a drastic reset, a 30-day boot camp for their self-discipline. The fact that a funny meme was adopted as a serious practice speaks volumes about the challenges many men face today: porn addiction, lack of energy, and concerns about low testosterone.

But does a month of abstinence actually deliver on its promised benefits? Or could it be harmful? Let’s look at the science.

What Does the Science Say?

As far as I can tell, so far there is only one empirical study that focused specifically on NNN. It was conducted by Garas et al. (2025) and surveyed 435 participants. Its key finding was that those who completed the challenge did not experience significant changes in sexual pleasure, desire, dysfunction, or excitation compared to non-participants. In other words, the 30-day abstinence didn’t move the needle.

In addition, we learn from a systematic review produced by Melody Garas (2023) that masturbation abstinence does not demonstrate significant benefits in erectile dysfunction or prostate cancer. On the contrary, the research tends to show that regular masturbation and ejaculation:

• Increase testosterone levels

• Improve overall health and functioning of the male immune system

• Reduce the risk for prostate cancer

So as we can see, there is no proven biological benefits. But we can speculate on certain psychological benefits.

The Real Rewards of NNN

According to what we can read and observe online, for many men the value of NNN lies in:

• A Sense of Community: Platforms like the r/NoNutNovember subreddit create a digital support group. Men share struggles, celebrate milestones, and foster a sense of shared purpose, in order to combat the isolation that often comes with addiction.

• Exercising Discipline: Successfully resisting urges can build self-confidence and reinforce one’s willpower, a skill they can apply to other areas of life.

• Taking Back Control: For someone who feels their porn or masturbation habits are compulsive and out of control, a hard reset can be a powerful, symbolic first step toward moderation.

The Significant Downsides

It’s also clear that NNN can be problematic in several ways.

• The aftermath of NNN: The existence of “Destroy Dick December”—a meme encouraging a massive, compensatory binge of masturbation immediately after NNN—reveals the challenge’s fundamental flaw. It promotes an all-or-nothing mindset, swinging from extreme repression to extreme indulgence, which is the very opposite of a healthy and balanced relationship with sexuality.

• Co-option by Far-Right Figures: NNN has been adopted by some far-right and manosphere influencers who pair it with a sex-negative, often misogynistic ideology. They frame sexuality not as a healthy part of life, but as a destructive force that must be strictly controlled to conserve “masculine energy.” This can lead to shame and an unhealthy view of natural desires.

• Shame and an Unhealthy Relationship with Masturbation: Framing masturbation as a failure can create intense guilt and anxiety. Let’s be clear: masturbation is a normal, healthy part of human sexuality. It relieves stress, improves sleep, and helps maintain prostate health. Turning it into a symbol of moral weakness can be psychologically damaging.

A Sexuality Coach’s Perspective

As a male sexuality coach, my view is that NNN is fundamentally sex-negative. It approaches sexual energy as a problem to be suppressed rather than a natural force to be understood and integrated.

The question isn’t whether NNN is universally good or bad. Its impact depends entirely on what you do the other eleven months of the year.

If you use it as a one-off discipline exercise and then return to a balanced life, it might be a neutral experiment. But if you’re the type who struggles with compulsive behavior, NNN often sets you up for failure. It creates a cycle of shame (if you “fail”) followed by bingeing (if you “succeed”), which reinforces the addictive pattern you were trying to break.

A Healthier Alternative

Instead of swinging between the extremes of total abstinence and compulsive release, I advocate for a more sustainable approach.

• Practice Porn-Free Masturbation: For many, the core issue isn’t masturbation itself, but a dependency on increasingly extreme or frequent pornography. Try masturbating without porn, focusing on bodily sensation and fantasy. This can help re-sensitize you to your own body’s natural cues.

• Embrace Short-Term Abstinence: You don’t need a 30-day marathon. From time to time, try abstaining for 3-7 days. Use that time to notice your urges without acting on them immediately. This builds awareness and willpower in a way that is sustainable in the long run.

• Focus on Balance, Not Bans: The goal is a relaxed, guilt-free relationship with your sexuality. Masturbation is healthy; compulsive behavior is not. Learn to discern the difference.

• Explore Tantric Practices: I recommend following a program that teaches how to experience ejaculation-free orgasms. This allows to experience sex and masturbation without the usual pitfalls that come with a regular orgasm: energy loss, fatigue, mood shift, etc. If you’re curious about this, you can learn more in this article:

To conclude, No Nut November highlights a real and valid cry for help from many men feeling adrift in a hypersexualized digital world. But the solution it offers is not a real one. True sexual well-being isn’t found in doing a contest once a year, but in cultivating a balanced, shame-free relationship with your body and your desires—all year round.

Leave a comment

If you have any questions, I’d be happy to answer them. You can reach me in DM or at neontantra.com/contact.

Note: This article is for educational purposes only and should not be taken as medical advice. If you experience sexual dysfunction or pain, consult a qualified healthcare professional.

Interesting in learning ejaculation control and NEMO?

Yes! I want to learn

After a traditional orgasm, most men enter what’s known as the refractory period, a phase where hypersensitivity peaks while arousal and energy sharply drop. This is the body’s natural reset mechanism, and it’s why men usually need minutes (or even hours) before becoming physically ready again.

But under certain conditions, this refractory response can be bypassed. The result is a state where pleasure waves can continue, building upon one another — multiple orgasms without ejaculation.

This isn’t a mystical trick or a rare anomaly. It’s a physiological potential built into the male body, one that can be developed through a specific training.

In this article, I’ll explain what this phenomenon really is, what science says about it, and how it can be developed.

What Is a NEMO?

You may have heard the terms “dry orgasm,” “non-ejaculatory orgasm (NEO)”, or “male multiple orgasms”. All of these describe a similar experience: a male orgasm that does not trigger ejaculation or the refractory period.

In other words, a man can experience multiple orgasms in a single session, without ejaculating and without losing arousal or energy. Multi-orgasmic men often describe that, in comparison, the traditional ejaculatory orgasm feels mediocre and frustrating.

Personally, I use the term Non-Ejaculatory Multiple Orgasm (NEMO) because it describes both the absence of ejaculation and the potential for repetition.

What a NEMO Is Not

Because this topic is still new to most people, it’s easy to confuse NEMO with other phenomena. Let’s clear that up.

1. It is NOT a Retrograde Orgasm. A retrograde orgasm is a type of orgasm in which semen is redirected into the bladder rather than being expelled through the urethra, and it triggers a full or partial refractory period. You will sometimes find online advice or techniques — often those focused on overly forceful “clenching” methods — that inadvertently teach how to induce a retrograde orgasm, mistakenly labeling it as a NEMO. This is a critical error. A true NEMO avoids the ejaculatory process and its refractory consequences entirely.

2. It is NOT a Prostate or Energy Orgasm. While other types of non-ejaculatory orgasms exist (e.g., prostate orgasms or non-tactile “energy” orgasms), they should not be considered NEMO for two reasons:

   1. They are not primarily triggered by stimulation of the penis. The type of orgasm that people refer to when they say dry orgasm, NEO, NEMO, etc. is one that is achieved through penile stimulation. If we were to be really accurate, we would call it Penile Non-Ejaculatory Multiple Orgasm.

   2. They may or may not trigger ejaculation or the refractory period. Although these types of orgasm can often be devoid of ejaculation or refractory period, it’s not always the case and it’s not what defines them.

3. It is NOT a Medical Condition. NEMO is not anejaculation, delayed ejaculation, or anorgasmia — which are conditions that have biological or neurological causes. A NEMO is a learnable skill developed through conscious practice.

The Mechanism Behind Non-Ejaculatory Multiple Orgasms

You may wonder how this is even physiologically possible. The answer lies in a critical yet overlooked distinction: orgasm and ejaculation are two separate processes.

They are so frequently paired that we assume they are one and the same. But neurologically and physically, they are distinct events that have simply been wired to fire together (Alwaal et al., 2015). It is entirely possible to have one without the other.

Think of it like this: Ejaculation is a muscular, reproductive reflex. Orgasm is a neurological, sensory experience in the brain. A NEMO is the skill of accessing the brain’s orgasmic response while voluntarily suppressing the body’s ejaculatory mechanism.

As for why this type of orgasm can be multiple, the explanation seems to lie in the fact that the hormone prolactin — responsible for triggering the refractory period — is associated with ejaculation, not with orgasm itself (Haake et al., 2002).

Scientific Evidence Confirms NEMO Is Real

Although NEMO is severely understudied, evidence for it does exist.

A recent study by Corre et al. (2025) provides a detailed case series of 12 multi-orgasmic men, several of whom experienced orgasms consistent with the definition of NEMO. Five participants reported three to ten orgasms within a single sexual encounter, while seven described numerous, continuous waves of orgasmic pleasure.

Earlier work by Dunn et al. (1989), involving 21 participants, had already documented similar results.

Another study (Wei et al., 2024) used transrectal dynamic ultrasonography — a sophisticated imaging technique — to observe men who reported non-ejaculatory orgasms. It confirmed that the physiological orgasmic response can indeed occur without ejaculation, and that it is distinct from a retrograde orgasm.

In short: the scientific findings, although they are sparse, support what practitioners have known for centuries — from Taoist traditions to modern somatic training — that the male body is capable of orgasmic responses beyond the conventional ejaculatory orgasm.

How NEMO Can Be Learned

Developing NEMO is not easy and in most cases is not achieved over a few weeks, contrary to what some online gurus might suggest. It requires patience, consistency, and a lot of willpower. For most men, months of regular practice are necessary to reach meaningful progress.

Broadly speaking, there are two main approaches. The first one, by far the most popular, draws on ancestral traditions, and uses Taoist or Tantric exercises that rely on esoteric concepts (chi, prana, chakras, etc.). The second one, which is less common, draws on modern somatic and psychological techniques such as relaxation training, breathwork, and body scanning.

Over the past sixteen years, I have practiced both of these paths. While they can work for some, I noticed a high rate of failure among men trying to learn NEMO by following books or online courses. Many would spend months or even years without achieving their goal.

This observation made it clear that there was a need for a more comprehensive and science-based approach, one that integrates a broader range of techniques and principles, grounded in modern understanding of physiology and the nervous system, to make the learning process more efficient.

To address this gap, I developed a framework — a structured integration of principles, techniques, and lifestyle shifts designed to recondition the body’s sexual reflexes and nervous system response. This approach was informed by years of personal training in Tantra and somatic work, as well as testimonies from multiorgasmic men — some of whom I interviewed directly — and refined continuously through feedback from my clients.

A central component of this system is the Mental Activation of the Nervous System (MANS), a method that provides a concrete way to perceive and guide subtle internal sensations. By focusing on clear, body-based awareness rather than vague instructions, MANS supports the development of nervous system control necessary for non-ejaculatory multiple orgasms.

Beyond Pleasure

Training to experience NEMO opens doors far beyond sexual satisfaction. It deepens the mind-body connection, allowing you to sense and respond to subtle currents within yourself. This awareness leads to increased energy, sharper focus, and reduced anxiety.

In essence, NEMO is not just a technique, it is a practice that reshapes how you inhabit your body, your mind, and your relationships, transforming the ordinary into a richer, more vibrant experience of life.

Leave a comment

If you have any questions, I’d be happy to answer them. You can reach me in DM or at neontantra.com/contact.

Note: This article is for educational purposes only and should not be taken as medical advice. If you experience sexual dysfunction or pain, consult a qualified healthcare professional.

Interesting in learning ejaculation control and NEMO?

Yes! I want to learn